Thursday, December 6, 2012

mispronounciations by Blare Coughlin

                Blare invites the reader to come read words. The suggestion should be taken up. Love poems are the best. With these little snippets, a piece of history, conversation, and memory, Blare takes the reader down a path into his own mind. Does this require anything heavy? All it requires is the reader is true. Readers must remember Blare is standing tall at the corner of parties. If Blare is standing tall that means others need to get on their tippy-toes. 

                Philosophy of coffee is important. Multiple countries run on coffee. America runs on Dunkin’. Whatever Canada runs on must be stronger. Canada is really cold. They need strong coffee to deal with the extreme weather. Blare describes the coffee-drinking ritual passed down from generations. Sugar goes last. Stirring is unimportant. Sweetness is. That’s why writing love poems on the internet are key to Blare’s survival. With the power of love poems Blare can do laundry, fall in love on ladders and roofs. Blare even enjoys a little ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ play. 

                Age interests young virile Blare. This is interesting. Does age allow people to get away with more? Here Blare suggests that yes, it does. From thirty to sixty five people are expected to act appropriately. Before then people go nuts as kids and as twenty-somethings. Upon the age of thirty people need to settle down or something. That’s the international law. International law is stupid. Blare discovers the truth: grandparents are the freest people on the planet. After they survive that weird thirty five year stretch they renew their lease on life. The elderly lease on life says ‘Go nuts’. It is similar to the twenty-something lease, only with savings and a pension. 

                The backstory is fascinating. Poor rainforest on St. Croix never gave a shit. Blare drove a sweet Land cruiser. Blare is some sort of swamp buggy badass. Anyway Blare even had a job there of renting gear to stupid tourists who didn’t know any better. Blare knew better. Blare ran that shop with ‘pizzazz’ and ‘spunk’. Strange that Blare thought of loneliness at age fourteen. Generally fourteen year olds are pissed off. Feeling anything besides a pissed off feeling is a sign that a teenage may grow up to become a decent person. 

                Delicious tear tea is mentioned. Blare states to make it from one’s very own tears. This is unusual. Tear tea is more satisfying when it uses somebody else’s tears. Maybe they make tear tea differently in Canada. At least Canada’s stance on uncles is roughly the same. Uncles ruin all the fun. Even fun uncles have a hard problem to overcome. Whoever grows up without uncles is living a beautiful life free of worry. 

                It ends with a valentine to the reader. Blare is in love with everyone. That’s why this EBOOK is free. By reading it Blare gets to know the reader and love them.

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