Illuminati Power Hour 10

                What a weekend! Steve Roggenbuck lives online. This weekend he was offline, living the IRL. Sometimes I visit IRL just to get food and nourishment. While I’m in IRL I’m thinking ‘Dang, the internet is sweet’ and ‘Yo, I need to write that down. That’s a good tweet/blog topic/another online alias’. I feel happy seeing the Illuminati Power Hour live broadcasting from America’s Heartland, Brooklyn. Brooklyn has a lot true Americans, riding bikes, eating kale, wholesome American activities. 

                The internet lifestyle begins with Ben Beutel-Gunn wearing my shirt. Never have I seen my shirt IRL. Usually I see pictures which are beautiful. Is ‘Truly’ the ‘Amen’ of alt lit? Can ‘Alt Lit’ become the most positive cult on the internet? Alt lit includes so many people: flarfers, freakers, frickers, writers, researchers, and even the rarest of creatures: Canadians. Much of the weekend has been filled with beautiful Canadians. Canada is blessed with wonderful people.

                ‘Obey your thirst’ Steve says as he drinks a huge bottle of orange juice. That’s what happens. Everybody loves the OJ, to free the OJ from the fridge. As Steve drinks the huge amount of Orange Juice calories he rates cats. Moon Temple, Angela Shier, and Dudebutt show off their cats. Angela’s cat pisses in toasters out of loneliness. Feel bad that cats suffer from depression. Dogs may be man’s best friend, but the cat is man’s sympathetic ear. Hope Dudebutt’s cat apologizes for biting poor Dudebutt. Ace, Angela Shier’s cat, wins for the most Satanic cat. 

                I get to witness Steve’s remix of my chapbook. Steve enjoys Dada. Since I’m a dad I guess that makes me a Dada. That’s what my kids called me before they got articulate. I am a fan of youth, the whole ‘before people get disillusioned’ with culture. Found art is life. What you pick out of culture is who you are. When you find out what you want out of society things become so easy. For a long time I did not know what I wanted. All I did was watch TV. TV is dead to me. Alt lit is my TV. 

                Travel tips by Steve Roggenbuck are a new part of the show. It shows us a little about the man behind the travels. Mega-Bus helps out Steve. Mini-Bus is a piece of human garbage. Steve is a traveling salesman. What he sells is true enlightenment and inner peace. For Steve’s persona is Buddha on the Internet. $47 brings Steve to the US and to Canada. 

                Waxing Gibbous is a beautiful moon phase. Steve explains moon phases. You need to know moon phases if you want to be Satanic. This brings us into the beautiful Crispin Best story. ‘Keep this bag away from children’ is a great thing. A sunset in New York City is gorgeous. The sun never sets on alt lit. Alt lit is in New Zealand, Australia, UK, and everywhere. Wherever there is someone writing on the internet, watching YouTube, Spreecasts, Ustreams, Tinychats, reading Alt Lit journals, that’s Alt Lit. 

                Check out Bambi Muse. The curator of these various babies is none other than the host of the award-winning series ‘I love Marie Calloway’. He is a remarkable strapping young lad. Infants generally do not have much of a work ethic. So it is a remarkable view of the adult world from the perspective of an infant. 

                Winky and I are going to have a play-date for our children. I worry that my kids do not have enough play dates. Sometimes I feel my kids have too few friends to talk to on the internet. Want my kids to like photos on Facebook. Want my kids to comment on status updates. This is an important part of life. 

                Steve is my co-boost. A few think Steve is me. Right now I cannot confirm nor deny this rumor. Instead let me continue to encourage this speculation. We listen as Steve contemplates his existence. A bird looks at the Spreecast. Clearly that pigeon is extremely alt. Look out for that pigeon’s first chapbook out later this summer. 

                It ends with a major announcement. What is the announcement? Prepare yourself. Sit yourself down in front of your glowing screen. ‘LIEF BOOKS’ is a big press busting out onto the scene. See James Ganas’ first book out in August. Oh you do not even know how big of a deal. For me to barely comprehend this I had to bust out the calculator to figure out the level of boost. This being a major announcement Steve screams ‘WOO’ for a couple of minutes afterwards. 

                Feel the joy of this Illuminati Power Hour. This is the party of a few close friends hanging out around a kitchen table, talking and appreciating each other’s company.  ‘We’re just me and you’ is how he ends it, disrespectful to the haters, appreciative of the alt lit daters.