Today some internet-famous guy said ‘Mira’s poems are consistently very good’. I realized I was not a friend of Mira Gonzalez on Facebook. Adding her was easy. Part of me felt bad because I remember her edited Twitter account on Muumuu House and thinking to myself ‘This is a good twitter account. It is funny’. I’m sure Blake Butler would approve of her Twitter account. It’s one of those thinking man’s twitter accounts. First you laugh. But once you’ve finished laughing you think about how smart Mira’s tweets really are.
I am entering uncharted territory. I have never reviewed somebody’s tweets before. I need to get on my twitter game before I lose at twitter. Her Grandmother wishes to be chill. Anybody who lives in that hip, relevant part of California, in the land of James Ferraro, is pretty much chill by association. Glad her Grandmother provided her with such good twitter material. ‘Eating’ and ‘Sleeping’ are burdens. Usually I pick one to do a day. Some days I eat. Others I sleep. I always blog though. Even in my dreams I’m blogging. My blogging dreams usually get really sweet amounts of ‘re-tweets’ and ‘re-blogs’. Here’s probably my favorite tweet out of the bunch:
“pulled 3 baby pacifiers out of my jacket pocket in class. don't know who they belong to. guy next to me seems confused”
The randomness of the tweet is funny. I like the confusion others experience around her. Random is always good. My whole existence is basically accidental. I probably shouldn’t exist. Sometimes I wonder what I really contribute to the world. I feel good that I exist though. I am proud of my pointless, goofy, inside joke of an online presence. Hopefully Mira feels the same way about her online presence. With tweets that reference realistic pictures of burnt toast I think she does. She also tweets about sloth masturbation. Here’s the tweet:
“imagine a severely depressed sloth becoming frustrated and crying while trying to masturbate because his hand is moving too slowly”
Mira probably doesn’t know how that works. Sloths don’t get depressed. When we are happy we move slowly. If a sloth is sad he tends to run. Sloths never run. Sloths find masturbation to be a human construct. ‘Work’ is the closest human term for ‘masturbation’ in sloth culture. It’s weird. Not sure if I can really explain sloth culture to a non-sloth human being, especially one in California.
A few tweets mention homeless people. Wonder why Mira lives around so many homeless people. Is Mira homeless? Does she tweet from various cafes and other free Wi-Fi locales? I think she lives in an actual home because she states people urinate quite frequently on her house. Perhaps she shouldn’t live in a giant fire hydrant or tree. That would solve a lot of the urination problems.
Besides all this hip twitter stuff she maintains a Tumblr presence. Her Tumblr collects poems she writes due to her exploding head syndrome, a rare disease that affects one’s head, causing it to explode without warning. Most of the posts seem to fit into a stream of consciousness format not dissimilar from her tweeting. Check it out right here. I am jealous that she went to Coachella. Next year I’m going to do a bunch of Kickstarters to go to music festivals. People I hope will pay me for things like blogs posts about them, tweets about them, poems about them, and hand-drawn pictures of their likeness.
I like Mira’s web presence. It seems to work as a unified whole. Upset that I didn’t cover her earlier. Sometimes life moves too fast for a sloth. Muumuu House did a good thing by editing her twitter account. Hope she doesn’t stop. Glad she accepted my Facebook friendship. Want to be Mira’s friend on Facebook forever and ever.