Thursday, March 29, 2012

List of Celebrities I’ve Seen at Comic-Con by Ana Carrete


                Everywhere I’ve ever lived Comic-Con was only a hop, skip, and jump away. I’ve never gone to a Comic-Con. Comic-Con follows me wherever I live sensing my inner nerd. Maybe I don’t want to admit I’m a nerd. Or maybe I’m just not that type of nerd, rather a nerd fortunate enough to fall into being cool. I am obsessed with music. Good thing music is generally considered cooler than comics or I’d be totally fucked. Random nerd not dancing at a concert will always outdo random nerd at Comic-Con. I didn’t make those rules. They simply exist. 

                I’m not surprised Ana went to Comic-Con. That seems appropriate given her enormous web-presence. She’s written some books. The photo shows her fitting into her natural habit. Just look at her, with that piece of garbage paper hat on her head. I bet she was the coolest person at that entire event. Ana probably went up to people at Comic-Con and said “Oh yeah I have a Tumblr.” When other people said they did too she added “And it’s not all re-blogs of random Anime shit/hentai/porn”. That’s probably why she feels like a winner whenever she goes there. It’s as if Captain Beefheart played at concert with the Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan, and Ambrosia. Of course Beefheart would be the best. He’s from a totally different universe. Beefheart wrote challenging music. The other two wrote supermarket rock. 

                The piece discusses all the people she has seen at Comic-Con. I don’t really know that much about actors. Movies generally disappoint me. I know Nicholas Cage and I’m happy to hear he’s boring. Nicholas Cage represents everything hilarious about movies, the ridiculous, almost unbelievable homogeneity of B-movies.  Megan Fox is mentioned, well, technically only her lips are mentioned. Tim Burton comes up. I used to work for Tim Burton a while ago. He is a deeply weird person. I feel he’s a bit burned out, that he expended all his creativity and should probably ‘take a break’ before he does anything else. Of course since Tim Burton is there so is Johnny Depp. Tim Burton probably carries Johnny Depp around in a suitcase or something. When Tim Burton worries that people find him unattractive he busts out the Johnny Depp, proclaiming ‘Here’s the sexy weird you’ve been waiting for!’

                Some other actors are mentioned. I’m interested in Cameron Diaz and Jeff Bridges. Wish I watched more movies so I’d get more of these references. I feel that I’m so busy reading and listening to music that I miss out on the most passive forms of entertainment, like movies. Maybe I should watch some movies, give my brain a rest. That way I can sit in an air-conditioned environment in the dark and watch random explosions. Though knowing me I’ll probably watch a Wes Anderson film still. I’m a sucker for Wes Anderson films. 

                I’m happy to see this piece from Ana Carrete on Bulk Culture. Sometimes I wish I got published on Bulk Culture. Bulk Culture won’t even publish my jams. Guess I should’ve sent them something besides a jar of pomegranate jam. I probably should’ve written something or sent a considerably less alt jam. Maybe next time I’ll be accepted. Who the fuck knows? Good job Ana!

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