Jimmy Chen

                Jimmy Chen is a post-bro. I’m sure if I ever met Jimmy Chen, he’d tell me all about these ‘post’ things. I’d ask if he likes rock. He’d say no, he prefers Post-Rock. I’d ask if he likes modernism. He’d say no, he prefers Post-Modernism. I imagine this would go on for some time until one of us out-did the other with the drollest comment known to man.

                I have read Jimmy’s stuff for a while. He’s funny. He lives in the San Francisco, alt lit paradise. In the about section of his famous website, he claims to live alone. I challenge this as the internet is always full of new friends. He dispenses advice via his Forumspring and accepts friend requests on Facebook. He accepted me as a friend. 

                Most of his posts are from HTML Giant. Those tend to be the funnier, less controversial ones, despite their obvious mockery. Usually he takes a piece of pop culture and morphs it into something more highbrow. See ‘$hot’ not only for evidence of his style, but of his substance (premature ejaculation). Note also how he knows the exact frame of ‘American Pie: Beta House’ where the ejaculate fell on a poor teddy bear.

                He works at an office, which I assume pays more than creative writing. Thought Catalog occasionally publishes his work as well. Where the vast majority of his work resides is at his full time abode, his home at home, his website, elegantly designed. He’s a master of photoshop, constantly photoshopping himself into crazy scenarios. Is he Butthead’s friend? Is he about to get fucked in the ass in the famous movie 'Pulp Fiction'? Oh the possibilities of ass-fucking Jimmy Chen are endless.

                Jimmy possesses a weird sense of humor. He talks about people he can’t add on Facebook. He seems afraid of Sarah Heuer, one half of the Minnesota based ‘PhiLOLZophy’ blog. I like his attention to her specific friends, particularly the ‘meek-type friend zone bros’. Ah, I remember those days of being the meek-type friend zone bros before I met my wife and we settled down to grow turnips. Now we sell the strongest turnip cider you’ll ever have. Don’t go into a K-hole Jimmy, I don’t want you to feel Coors-Lite ish under any circumstances. 

                Lily Dawn is another recommended friend. I have a distraught relationship with Lily. She abuses me all the time on Facebook, Blogspot, etc. It hurts my sloth heart. While Lily says she is kidding, I just don’t know. Do people in Ohio have non-ironic feelings? I don’t know. Ohio does seem to have a large amount of writers though. I have no idea who Seth or Kristina is; I guess I don’t get around much due to my addiction to the internet. 

                Jimmy’s archive only goes as far back as November 2010. I wonder what he did before then. Do people write offline too? Is that a thing? I feel a strong connection to Jimmy. Here we are, two fellow Canadians, writing, blogging hard, but with nary a book to show for it. I challenge Jimmy Chen to a book-off: whoever comes out with a book first wins.